Lately, I haven't been very happy! Shockingly. I am almost always happy! So what's going on? Well, I realized something that I've known for a while, but have not yet faced. Last week I noticed myself trying to find a way to escape. Completely run away. From my family (although I very much love them!), my romantic relationship (although I very much love that too!), my school (which I'm enjoying!), and even the state of Colorado (which, wow! I also love that!). Then the question forms . . . why? Why do I want to escape from things I love?
The answer is: YES. (haha)
Yes I love it all, but when I dig deeper I realize that there are things connected with all of the above that are making me unhappy. And more importantly, these things are out of my control. Sure I can change my attitude and learn my way around it, and I've been trying to! But once I think about changing/leaving one thing, I realize I cant because it's connected to another thing, like chains. And it has become too much! I find myself becoming someone I don't want to be. My solution is to let all of it go. Not just change my location, I want to change everything! I want to start over from scratch! Because I've never started from scratch, and something novel seems much better than beating at the same old problems everyday, like rugs! After a while you might as well just get a new rug! You can beat the crap out of a super old one, that dust is not coming out.
So I'm switching schools! Switching states! I'm cutting loose! I'm chasing my dreams! This is the first time ever that I will be starting completely over, and man it's exciting! Making the choice (finally) has already made me feel so free! A weight has been lifted and I am certain this needed to happen.
If you're dealing with poisonous people and/or situations that are out of your control and it's dimming your little ray of sunshine and you just don't feel good, I encourage you to be brave and make a change. A complete change. Don't imprison yourself with negativity. Just let it go! Start over. Choose who you want to be, then go be it!
It's not really running away, it's running towards freedom. It's a new start, not dragging around a sack of regrets, in fact it's the exact opposite.
Yours truly,
Elysia =)
No comments:
Post a Comment